thanks! giving. by: logan

it's finals time and i'm trying so hard to avoid a philosophy paper so i'm posting again!!!


so this years thanksgiving at the lambert household was much different then years past. mom decided it would be awesome to do a vegetarian dinner because as mom says, "the FDA doesn't give a shit about us and lets us put sick meat in our bodies which causes us to get all sorts of crazy-ass shit to grow in our bodies!" obviously mom has gotten a hold of my skinny bitch book.
so what did mom decided to feed us this thanksgiving?

tofurkey.

if you don't know what tofurkey is, it's basically faux turkey. made with tofu. (go ahead, it's okay to throw-up.)

we also had peas and carrots, WINE, and sweet potato pie for dessert! mmmmmmmmmmmpsych!

now, while i am very thankful that we had food on our table, i am not thankful for tofurkey.
or the FDA.


so i learned a lot this thanksgiving too, especially not to take people too seriously. story follows.
my mom's brother and his 15 year old son came to stay with us and i was having a conversation with my 15 year old cousin and he asked if i had a boyfriend. my answer shocked him slightly yet he went on (with my entire family present now) to ask when i was graduating and what i was majoring in. my answer of 'bible and religion' elicited a few chuckles and then as he put the pieces together, he arrived at the conclusion that since i was single and majoring in religion, i was inevitably going to become a nun.
for the remainder of the holiday weekend, my whole family addressed me as "sister logan caroline"... and i spent the weekend crying.


like i have said many times before, after all, i'm not the one whose spiritual gift is celibacy.